Winter: It’s Festive Knitwear Time Folks!
Once upon a time there was a Christmas jumper. Think Val Doonican in his rocking chair, think Andy Williams crooning away, think your granny knitting some gruesome piece of clothing that won’t fit over your head and cuts off the circulation at the wrists with, horror of horrors, a matching bobble hat to use up the left over wool.
If you were really lucky and had siblings, she’d knit you all one and your mother would force you to wear them, all together, on Christmas Day just to keep the peace. There would be photographs.
Its bulky form and nana-like wrapping would yell CHRISTMAS JUMPER ALERT from under the tree, and however much you would try your best delaying tactics – shoving it to the back of the tree to ‘lose’ it, or switching gift tags, you would be powerless to prevent the inevitable.
Things have moved on apace since the 1980s however. Nowadays we like to think we are all cool, trendy and ironic. We wear our Christmas jumpers with pride combining all things popular – Christmas and cats – yes it’s the cat T-shirt – bit of a scary site this – you can chat to an elf if you want……and you get a free pair of socks apparently.
Asos as per usual have a whole Christmas jumper shop to choose from – some of them are truly terrible, some quite acceptable, some have a poke at the selfie stick, so our choice all depends on the level of irony you can a) achieve, and b) pull off (as opposed to pull over geddit ha ha ha).
For the rich and impulsive jumper purchaser, Ralph Lauren has a snowflake jumper with a cosy shawl for the bargain price of £430.00. Irony at its most expensive.
If you really want to scrape the bottom of the barrel, Sports Direct has a ‘Mega Value 3D fat Santa’ jumper. The mind fairly boggles, and not in a good way.